Such a disgusting title for a blog entry, I know! But trust me, this plays a part in my quest for motherhood because today I am taking the salivary hormone test. And basically, all I'm doing is filling these vials with, you guessed it - spit.
Now, anyone who knows me can attest to my natural aversion to all body fluids. I find spitting to be disgusting and we won't even go into any of the others. You can only imagine my reaction to those other things! But in spite of my discomfort, I'm sitting rereading instructions, counting my vials, and setting the alarm on my phone to wake me for my last, um, spitting at 2:30 in the morning. Had anyone told me this past January that I'd be doing this, I would have laughed them out of the room. Hogwash!
But something much bigger is happening with me taking this test. I am learning a very important life lesson that will hold true for me from this moment on: This isn't about me.
In becoming a mother, it's not about my comfort level or what I like or even what I want. It's about my child, about his needs, his desires, and whatever makes him happy. It's a very worthwhile life lesson that I'm glad I'm learning now - even if it is all because of having to spit in a few vials!
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