Back and Forth and Back Again

(or Inside the Mind of an SMC-in-training)

This past week, I've been talking to friends of mine and the question that I kept asking everyone was, "Am I crazy?"

I asked this because a part of me thinks I'm crazy for voluntarily becoming a single mother. I have known many single mothers in my lifetime and it's not been an easy road for them. If I were to just go by their experiences, it would be easy for me to shrug it off as momentary insanity for wanting to become an SMC. But in looking deeper, I see that their circumstances are not the same as my circumstance. In their cases, they had a husband/boyfriend who left them or a man who didn't want to take parental responsibility. The mothers weren't necessarily ready financially or emotionally to raise the child on their own and they were left with no time to think or plan their next step.

But when I look at my situation, I am budgeting my money, paying my bills ahead of time, preparing myself emotionally, mentally, financially, physically... In any and every way possible, I am getting ready to be a mother. I know that once I have a child, my life is not about me, except for what I can do for my child - and I have no problem at all with that.

I have done many things that I have wanted to do - traveled to Europe, moved to the West Coast, traveled to the other side of the world - and someday I'll do the remainder of things on my list with my child. I don't feel like I will be missing out on anything and I am ready to fully commit myself to being a mother. Because I can say that with all honesty, I know that I am truly ready to do this.

A friend of mine said something interesting to me the other day. She told me that I'm in the minority because 30% of babies born in the US are actually planned. The statistic is staggering to me, but I truly believe it.

So in answering my own question as to whether I'm crazy, the answer is yes. But that has nothing to do with my decision to become an SMC. What's most important is that I am ready for this and I am looking forward to it and I know my life will only be enhanced (as will the life of my child and all my family and friends). All roads that I've traveled have led to this point and I am ready for the next leg of this exciting journey.