The Greatest Gift

I had been going back and forth these past few months as to when I was going to buckle down and have my first ICI. I had picked out the bank, the donor, and the date that I was going to do my ICI at home and I was very secure in that decision. For a while.

Then things began to happen around me and my situation began to change drastically:

• I suddenly had a very drastic and quick weight gain and my doctors and I knew there was something off with my body. (I'm currently fighting iron and Vitamin D deficiencies - drastic ones - and my metabolic system basically shut-down. Because of that, I've piled on more pounds than I am comfortable with.)
• And to top it all off, my current work situation, which has improved this year, is off to a slow start.

So I decided to put things off from before my birthday (in October) to sometime next spring. I decided that I was going to take a trip to New Zealand, sort of as a last hurrah, and then once I came back in March, I was going to do my procedure. It was in my heart and my mind and my soul and I was so excited about going on my New Zealand adventure -- until I had the dream.

I had two dreams, actually. The first dream, I was about four months pregnant with twins - a boy and a girl - and I don't think I had ever been happier in all of my life. I was literally glowing and I just thought about how happy and excited and elated and scared I was. I knew there was no greater adventure than being a mother and it was all I could think about. When I woke the next morning and found myself saying 'baby' three times more than 'New Zealand' on into the following month, I knew that I was going to make some changes. A few weeks after that, I had a dream about actually giving birth to a beautiful son and the moment that I had him, they laid him on my chest and I was talking to him and stroking him and bonding with him. It was literally the greatest feeling on earth. That dream cemented my decision. Lord willing, New Zealand will still be there years from now and I will even take my child/ren with me to enjoy the amazing country. But for now, all that matters, all that is important is for me to move forward with this.

I've been talking more openly to friends and family about my decision and I know that I have their love and support. I had an appointment with an amazing gynecologist who recommended me to an RE that many in this area know, so I am going to be having an IUI instead. I'm going to do the testing and everything because when I do this, I want to have the best chance of pregnancy that I can possible have.

Overall, I am very pleased and I have decided that once I meet with my RE in October (and I'm believing that I'm pretty healthy and won't have any issues), we can proceed with me having my procedure in January 2011.

My heart, mind, and soul are fully committed to this and I am ready for this greatest role of my lifetime. I'm going to be a mother and I don't feel there's anything better for me in this world.